Sorry to hear you were frustrated by your interaction with us here at IPS. Please allow me to explain the methods in which were followed here.
First with the PM situation. We would always update via the topic where possible. There are times where we may well respond, and log off. Therefore colleagues would be able to continue the support where we left off for the day. Ordinarily you would be informed we cannot provide support via the PM area, and you would need to post again in the topic. My colleague appears to have assisted via the PM system there somewhat instead, from what you have said. So indeed has actually gone the extra mile to assist you. Sorry if that has caused confusion of course.
With regard the issue in question, as there are so many different configurations in a self hosted environment, its not always clear what we are dealing with unless we can actually see it. The issue could well have been anything from folder permissions, file permissions, mod_security blocking, file/folder ownership on the system, Cloudflare problems, lack of the file being overwritten, an issue with the upgrader itself not picking up the correct files, caching of PHP files by the server and a myriad of other problems. Of course, you know your server environment, so know what is present. Unfortunately we don't, and therefore the 'simple check' isn't always something possible, and the correct answer really would have been to check your permissions, and if you are still having problems, to contact your hosting company for assistance. My colleague took a look for you instead, rather than you going back and forth with your hosting company, in order to see if we could get you back online quicker.
On a self hosted environment, there is only so much we can do to assist, unfortunately. While we will look in at times to see if we can assist, when it's a permissions issue. That's generally something you would go through with your hosting company. We do pride ourselves on going the extra mile at times for our customers, and of felt we had done so in checking the issues with your upload and permission issues there. Once again can only really apologise if you feel we haven't done so on this occasion.
In any event, I'm glad to see your site is back up and running.