I have tried logging in again to see if I can see the issue for you, however the admin login details are still incorrect so I am unable to log into your upgrader.
One of the things I would very much advise you do, is remove all 3rd party items on your site. While many may run 3rd party items with no issue, this is probably what is causing you so many issues. You have a combination of lacking the knowledge to run your server environment proficiently and having too many variables that could cause issues on your system without the knowledge to correct them proficiently. This is not your fault, its simply that you have found your limit.
At some point, something has to give in order to simplify matters. In an ideal scenario, moving to cloud would be a very good start, but you have mentioned you don't have that option. So removing all 3rd party and running stock will remove many variables that could cause you issues.