Is there a way to setup it so they can view their own threads and not anyone elses besides theirs?

would love an answer to this as the currently permission don't facilitate this from what i can see.

It can be done on a per forum basis. Community - Forums - Edit Forum - Forum Settings - Users can see topics posted by other users?

Not sure about setting it per Member.

 

This is what IPS does with the test forum here.  Only you can see your own forum topics.